"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friday, December 4, 2015

I'm here but there have been a few issues

I've been weighing (ha!) my decision to return to my blog. I had my surgery and two weeks later developed complications. I spent nearly three months off work and had multiple hospital stays, outpatient procedures and even a surgery during that time. I've been through the wringer and feeling tired and emotional. 

If you had asked me even two weeks ago if the surgery was worth it, I'm not sure what my answer would have been. My original complication would have been seriously life-threatening if we hadn't caught it when we did. I had so many self-doubts during the pain and misery of recovery. I tried to stay positive but it was often hard. 

Now, however, I can say that I am feeling better now. I am back at work and although I had some worries about coming back, it has all worked out. I can also say that my weight loss has been dramatic. I went out of my way to not weigh in while I was so sick. Understand that my weight loss was more dramatic because of my complications making it very difficult for me to eat much if anything. 

At three months post-op I have lost just over 60 pounds. I now weigh 193.8. So I'm also below 200, which is amazing!

So what about the blog? Well I was too ill to really keep it up during recovery. And I just don't know. I don't think anyone is even reading this. I had planned to keep blogging because I know that when I did my research I wanted to read about other people's experiences and maybe someday someone will want to hear my story. Then again I'm probably just sitting here blogging to myself. And that's honestly okay with me. I'm just not sure this is my forum any longer.