Coming Out On The Other Side

I'm coming out of a pretty deep funk.

I sort of lost my job--administrative transfer, not fired--and ended up somewhere I wasn't expecting.  I started out trying to make the most of it, and going full tilt as per usual.  I was absolutely miserable.  I felt alone and scared, and totally unprepared for my new job duties.  I received almost no training and yet I was responsible for critical things.  It brought up all my anxiety and depression.  On top of that, the migraines came back.

I struggled to get up in the mornings.  My mind screamed for me to run away and do anything that would keep me from going to work.  I would sometimes panic at work and have to shut the door and just calm myself down.  I would leave work and cry the whole drive home.  I considered leaving, but felt trapped.  I make decent money and most positions I thought about applying for would require a significant cut in pay.

Last Wednesday I went on a job interview.  It went okay--I did well but not spectacular.  I didn't dazzle them like I was hoping to.  I went home that evening disappointed in myself.  And then I decided that it wasn't worth all this agony.  I am miserable and unhappy.  But I don't want to feel that way anymore.  I made the decision that I was going to learn how to let some of this go.

So when I went to work the next day, I made a concentrated effort to not let things get to me.  I decided I was going to be happy, dammit!  It wasn't easy, and I wasn't totally successful.  But I did find that it made my day a little more bearable.  When I felt overwhelmed, I would take a moment and breathe deeply.  I tried to let any negative emotions go.  I went out of my way to spend some time on myself, and didn't drive myself insane working hard every moment of the day.  I got some work done, and I praised myself for accomplishing what I did.  I began to acknowledge my progress, instead of just pushing myself on and on and on.

I also did some research into being content or even happy when you dislike your job.  I found some information particularly helpful for me:

• Choose to be happy - think positively and focus on the aspects of my work that I like
• Do something I like every day (in and out of work)
• Avoid negativity
• Take a little time to be social with positive people
• Recognize and be proud of my skills and abilities
• Be creative at work
• Play outside of work
• Give thanks and appreciation
• Start a new project
• Stop griping/ruminating/wallowing
• Keep working towards my passion
• Monotask at least once per day
• Schedule a one-minute meditation
• "Progress, not perfection"

These really stood out to me.  I'm going to start trying to implement them.  Maybe one per week to really concentrate on.

I also found an article that said I needed to be having more frequent sex!  Love it.  So, yes, that one is going on my list too!

Finally, I have signed up to take "The Artist's Way" workshop through a local library.

Baby steps.  Small victories.  Stay positive.  Wish me luck!


Sources:
http://www.careerealism.com/9-ways-to-be-happy-in-a-job-you-dont-like/
http://dawnbarclay.com/10-ways-to-be-happy-at-work-even-if-you-hate-it
http://humanresources.about.com/od/success/tp/happy_work.htm
http://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/the-artists-way-a-spiritual-path-to-higher-creativity/