It's evening and I feel funky. I know that tomorrow I have to go to work. Work hasn't been so bad lately, but I can feel my heart racing. I feel trapped--like I have no choice and there is no escape. I know I only have a couple more hours and then my night is over. Then I will sleep and wake up and go to the place I dread going.
Sounds silly, right? It's just work. There's no real danger from work. Things have been slightly better for me at work and I think this anxiety is just a little left-over panic. My "Sunday Blues" as I used to call them. When my day/weekend/freedom is coming to a close and I desperately want it to continue.
So I'm sitting here and I'm just breathing. I'm concentrating on this moment, and not tomorrow. I am accepting that I feel the anxiety and not judging it. I'm not silly and neither are my feelings. But I am reassuring myself that I am okay, that I don't need to panic. My night isn't over, and even though I will go to work in the morning, that day will end too and I will eventually be home and it is all okay. Breathe. And just be in this moment.
I think it's time for some small things that bring me contentment and peace. It's time for a late meal, some soothing music, and maybe a bath or a cuddle with a pet. And I will keep breathing and it will be okay.
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