Why Weight Loss Surgery?

I wanted to take some time to put this down on paper so to speak.  I know that this will be a common question for me over the next year or two.  Although I know why and have even articulated it to my husband in bits and pieces, I want a more comprehensive explanation.  I want to be prepared when I get asked, because I know I will get asked.

Why weight loss surgery?

It's a drastic step, isn't it?  I plan to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG), and they will take away the majority of my stomach.  It is permanent.

I am morbidly obese.  My BMI is currently 46.  I have tried to lose the weight many times.  I have even succeeded in small amounts and even once a large amount of 33 pounds.  Ultimately I gain it back.  I don't keep up with the super restrictions of diets.  I ultimately fail at the diet, gain back the weight, and feel depressed that I have failed yet again.

The research I have read more or less says that for morbidly obese people, diet and exercise alone does not work.  We have so much weight to lose and when we fail we gain back the weight and usually some extra weight.  Research also shows that weight loss surgery often gives us a chance--a tool--to lose the weight and have a fighting chance of keeping it off.

I want that fighting chance.  My knees have major issues--even walking can be painful and exhausting.  I have started having issues with sleeping at night.  I am going to have a sleep study to find out if I have sleep apnea.  I get migraines.  I have some stomach issues in general.  I fight with depression and anxiety.  To some degree, I believe that all of these are linked to my obesity.

To reach a "normal" BMI, I would have to lose about 125 pounds--about half my body weight.  That is a lot and it's exhausting and terrifying to even think about how hard that will be.  I don't know if I am capable of it without some help.  I know for me, that I need something drastic to help me make changes.  I need to break down my relationship with food.  Food and eating are involved in every social and emotional aspect of my life.  I don't know if I can just pretend that I can ever have a healthy relationship with food.  I believe that I am probably addicted to food.  Unlike other addictions, I cannot possibly abstain from eating.  So how can I lose the weight (without completely giving up hope and failing horribly) and drastically change my relationship with food?  Weight loss surgery is my answer.

So how will weight loss surgery help me?  I will be having a VSG, which means they will remove most of my stomach.  For VSG, they don't reroute your intestines so I don't have to worry about malabsortion.  My stomach will start out only holding about 2 ounces.  Over the course of the first year, my stomach will heal and stretch out to hold about 8 ounces.  It will force me to eat very small portions.  Because I won't be able to eat a lot, I will have to concentrate on my protein intake.  I won't be able to eat my trigger foods (the foods that make me want to overeat) because they will fill up my stomach too quickly and make me feel sick.  This means that I will get rid of all trigger foods (simple carbs) completely.  My husband has agreed that there will be no more trigger foods in our house ever again once I start.

Another piece of this is that when they remove so much of your stomach, they remove the hunger hormone, ghrelin.  This means that I will not experience physical hunger the same way ever again.  Although I may still have to battle mental hunger and cravings, I will no longer actually feel physical hunger.

What all this means is that weight loss surgery is a tool to help me get a jump start on my weight loss.  Ultimately I still have to do all the work.  I still have to overcome my cravings and emotional desire for food.  I will have to eat tiny portions and avoid my trigger foods.  I will have to start exercising and doing the right thing.

How do I know I will succeed?

I don't know.  But the research says that for VSG patients, the majority will lose and keep off 40%-80% of their excess weight even five years post-op.  Even if we look at the smaller end of that statistic, that is more than enough to get me out of morbid obesity and make me feel so much better.  Another piece of this is that I will be paying for this surgery out of pocket.  It costs about $15,000.  That is a huge investment, and it has taken me a couple of years to save it up.  I'm terrified of spending that kind of money.  I refuse to waste that money.  It is an investment in me.  I cannot allow myself to screw it up.

So that's it.  This is an individual decision.  It isn't for everyone.  It's not the easy way out--it's expensive, scary, painful.  I also still have to do all the work.  I have to eat right and exercise.  This is just a tool to help me tremendously by taking away my hunger, forcing small portions, and getting me on the right track way more quickly than I could do on my own.