Friday Art Journal

Today I am sharing the photo book I created to help me with my surgery and weight loss.  It has important information in it, as well as some good coping strategies and some pics that make me happy.

My Photo Book

Making a Book for My Journey

I love making photo books.  I enjoy creating a design and bringing back memories of a wonderful and exciting time.  The creation process appeals to me on so many different levels--I use my creativity and design skills, my imagination, as well as my organizational abilities.  It’s extremely satisfying to hold the finished products in my hands.

I am starting to work on a book for myself.  It isn’t exactly a photo book--or at least not only a photo book.  I am including some of my favorite family photos, as well as pics of my collages and even some beautiful photos of nature.  I am also going to include my favorite quotes, affirmations, and meditations.  What really makes this book special for me is that it will also be a kind of weight loss bible for me.  I plan to include a nutrition section with information for each post-op phase; a section to keep track of my monthly weight and measurements; reminders/affirmations of why I am taking this difficult journey; and a list of things to do instead of eating--a list to defeat cravings and boredom.

I am totally excited about creating this book.  I have been worried that I don’t have much I can do right now.  My surgery is planned and financed.  I have nothing to do now but wait until I can start my pre-op diet.  This book will be my personal guide through it all.  I will keep you posted!

In the meantime, I'm pretty sure this will be my cover:

Friday Art Journal

Red

Friday Art Journal

Untitled

Friday Art Journal

Lewd and Abandoned

Friday Art Journal

Hats & Crowns

Friday Art Journal

I created this collage as a birthday gift for a friend of mine

Common Sense

Friday Art Journal

I have a few pieces that I've done over the past few months that I will share over the next few weeks.  This may be my favorite collage ever.  It's my first collage on a canvas, so it's bigger than my usual designs.  It definitely reflects me :)

Inner Wings

New Art In Progress

I set up my artist space.  I haven't organized all my crap yet, but I went ahead and set up what I could.  I have some pretty good lighting, but I think I need to set up some additional lighting right at the desk.

I also started a new collage today.  I'm very excited!  I found a 12"x16" canvas that my daughter must have forgotten she had.  It was just mixed up in my art supplies.  So I have pilfered it.  From my daughter.  I'm such a wonderful mom ;)

I have never done a collage on canvas before.  And I don't usually work with anything larger than a sheet of paper in a sketchbook.  So this is a new experience for me.  I knew that I wanted to do a piece that is a reflection of me and where I'm at in my journey.  I'm really pleased with it so far and I will definitely post a pic once it's finished.

I like the way it makes me feel to work on a collage.  It's kind of like a creative puzzle... taking things that draw me in and manipulating them that way.  I always shrugged off what I do with collages.  I'm not a "real" artist because I use art and photos that have already been created.  But I think now that what I do is art... in it's own way.  And regardless, it makes me happy to work.  In the end, that's all that matters.

Soundtrack for My Musings

I started a new Pandora station to listen to when I want to feel inspired for my creativity.  I've been listening to it while I blogged and while I clean and get my artist space ready.

Here are the artists I'm currently enjoying:

• PJ Harvey
• Massive Attack
• Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
• Mazzy Star
• Laura Gibson
• Paula Cole
• Regina Spektor
• Coldplay
• Emiliana Torrini
• Sarah McLachlan

Have a listen to some Laura Gibson...

Self-Exploration

So... I'm not sure what I enjoy doing.  Don't get me wrong, I know a number of things I enjoy doing.  The list seems small and I often get stuck in boredom wondering what I can do to bring enjoyment to my life.  I have been seeking meaning, and I am trying to connect with myself to find the meaning.

There are actually a lot of things I think I would enjoy.  There are many things I want to try.  Sometimes I even sit down and make lists of the things I want to do.  And then I look at this big, overwhelming list and don't know where to start.  I also make excuses--I'd have to have a lot of time to do that.  I don't have the money to try that right now.  I don't want to do that by myself.  I can't do that without someone showing me how.  You get the idea.

So I am trying to figure it out.

I have revamped my list, and this time I am trying a couple of things.  I tend to go into things all or nothing, but I'm slowing it down this time.  I want to try to clicker train my dog (and maybe my cats too!).  So I bought a clicker and some treats.  You start really slowly, and I started today.  I also wanted to go buy some seeds, plants, and soil to start up a container garden this weekend.  Unfortunately, my funds are a little tighter than I'd like so I really don't think I should make a large investment in gardening just yet.  So instead of completely giving up (as I have been known to do!), I'm going to start clearing a space on my back patio for the containers, start planning what I might like in the garden, and maybe purchase one packet of seeds.  If I buy seeds here and there then it may not get ridiculously expensive.

Here are a few more items from my exploration list:

• Meditation/Mindfulness
• Photography
• Hiking
• Write a short story
• Costuming
• Falconry
• Learn to draw
• Furniture restoration
• Travel
• Illumination

Interestingly enough, several of the things on the list require no investment except time.  I guess it's about finding the momentum to try something.  Maybe I will set up a play date with myself once a week to try something new.  This is perfect idea for Sundays--something to offset the Sunday Blues!

I'll let you know how it goes!

Where is my art?

Something I've been working hard to not think about is my art.  More accurately--my lack thereof.

Sometimes my depression can spark some creativity, but usually it just shoves my art so far down that I'm not quite sure how to bring it back into the light.  I've been feeling so much better lately.  I'm thinking more positively at work, and really opening myself up to recognizing everyday moments of contentment and even happiness.  So where is my art?

I can feel the desire to do something creative.  I'm hungering to be productive in the parts of myself that play in happiness.  I know it's there.  I'm not worried that it's gone forever.  But I don't know how to bring it back out.  My husband would tell me to just start working on a collage.  And he's probably right.  Just because I don't feel like starting something doesn't mean that it isn't there patiently waiting for me to begin.

And yet I keep finding excuses.  I don't have a space to work on things.  It takes time to pull out all my collage stuff and get to work.  Then I have to clean up and take a couple of days to seal the paper.  It seems overwhelming, which sounds really silly.

So maybe I need to start with baby steps.  Today I will start clearing a space for my art.  Then maybe I will sort through some of my supplies.  To be honest it would be hard for me to locate what I need because everything is so cluttered.  So I need to reign in some of the chaos.  But then I need to begin.  Because that's the only way for my art to come out.  It can't come out to play if I keep waiting for something to push me to do it.

Progress, not perfection!

Friday Art Journal

Voices Part II

Friday Art Journal

Friday Art Journal (NSFW)

Death

Friday Art Journal

Blue

Friday Art Journal

I wanted to create a new journal to use for my art.  I have been really digging in to who I am so this cover definitely reflects my more spiritual side.  These images are ones that captivate me.  They make me want to be there, to touch and witness.

New Art Journal Cover (Front & Back)

Friday Art Journal

I really wanted something colorful and lush feeling.  I had found this quote on Pinterest, and I loved the idea of perfect imperfection.  I often think of myself as broken.  I am even proud of my brokenness--I have survived so much and am so strong in so many ways.  I would like to be unapologetically myself.  Why don't I just allow me to be me?

Perfect Imperfection

Friday Art Journal

This is just another of those pieces where I just went where it took me...

Victory Project

I mentioned before that I was looking for a project to celebrate the little victories in my life.  I was hoping to find something that would be a one-to-one representation of the victories, but that was a little difficult.  I found that what I wanted to do right now was to create a cross stitch.  I had found a glass on wood piece inspired by Alphonse Mucha’s The Moon.  The colors just absolutely blew me away:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/15630383@N08/2774597631/

Kathleen Coyle

Stunning, right?

So I am attempting to cross stitch Mucha’s The Moon as inspired by Kathleen Coyle’s vision.  This will be my Victory Project.  I won’t be doing it as a single stitch per victory.  I decided that I have many victories throughout my day and life.  I should celebrate as I can, and this project will take me many, many months--probably at least a year.  I will keep you updated.