My Victory List

I’m not very good at complimenting myself.  I tend to be hard on myself and expect a lot of myself.  It’s hard for me to see all the good that I do and that I am.  I am trying though, and it’s slowly getting easier and better.

Journaling has helped tremendously.  It started very slowly.  I would sit there and agonize over anything genuine to write.  I didn’t want to just write something I didn’t believe.  But slowly I would find little things I could write and believe about myself that were positive and wonderful.  I began to see the little victories in my life.  I began to believe.  

I used to overlook the little victories.  I used to think the little victories were things like going for a 30 minute walk or drinking 64 ounces of water.  Yes, those are absolutely victories.  They are actually pretty big victories.  A single glass of water is a victory too!  A 5 minute walk is a victory!  I know it sounds silly, but these little things add up, especially when my life has seemed so devoid of joy for so long.  Being able to recognize these little victories has really made me feel good.  I’ve been able to slowly track these in my journal and genuinely celebrate them.

Here is a list of little victories:

"Happy Plate" - Leaving food on the plate!

ordering a smaller portion/appetizer instead of a full meal

drink a glass of water

clean/straighten a room

do a load of dishes/laundry

fold clothes

hang up clothes

scoop/change litter

mow lawn

walk

yoga

bike

physical therapy

eat at home

cook a meal

say no to eating out

say no to food

give away food

go grocery shopping

forgive myself

be kind to myself

do art

do a craft

run an errand

be productive for an hour at work

stand up for myself

This list is not exhaustive.  I add to it as I discover that something I’ve done is a victory.  Sometimes it’s an amazing feeling, and sometimes it just feels strange.  I threw away half an order of fries the other day.  I’m not used to throwing away food.  It didn’t make me feel sad or angry or guilty or even happy.  It was kind of just… a curious feeling.  I almost felt detached from it.  And I was glad I did it.  It was almost like there was no emotion attached to the fact that I was full and I didn’t care to eat any more french fries.  Go figure!