Planned Cheating

So...

My DH and I have really been wanting to enjoy something we can't have on Ideal Protein.  We've been so good, and for the most part it hasn't even been that difficult to resist temptation.  We talked it over and decided that instead of giving in to random temptations, we should plan in advance for an off diet meal.  We wanted to make sure that we didn't end up blowing our meal on fast food--we really wanted to make sure it was something good.  So we came up with a few ideas, and even talked with our coach about minimizing the damage.  We figured if we have a "cheat date" every 1/4 of the way, that should be enough to help us get through.

Another thought behind this is that we want to make sure that the cheating is our choice--that we don't feel trapped into cheating when we don't want to.  We don't want to be pushed into cheating by well-meaning friends and family.  Nor because we didn't prepare our food in advance or we didn't feel like cooking.  We wanted to have something good, and be able to absolutely enjoy it.  No feelings of guilt or regret allowed.

So we did it.  We picked up our absolutely favorite pizza.  It was hot, greasy, and cheesy.  We found that our tastes have changed, and our wonderful pizza was just a mediocre dinner.  We overate a bit, but a lot less than we would have before the diet.  I even bought myself a small coke.  And it wasn't the same either.  It was just all right.

It's kind of funny though.  We felt relieved afterwards--like our fears of being overcome by the delicious carbs were just an overreaction.  No guilt.  No regret.  A little disappointment.  But plenty of relief.

We were careful not to have restricted food items that day or the following.  I'm sure we knocked ourselves out of ketosis, but we should be back in it in a few days.  So far there are no other side effects.  I'm sure we won't have as great of a weight loss in the upcoming week, but that's okay.  We are in this for the long haul and we want to make sure that we allow ourselves the very rare cheat.  Next time it will most certainly not be pizza.  Instead, we will probably enjoy some sushi.

Anyway, I'm glad we did it, and I'm glad to be back on track again.

And Depression Snuck Up On Me...

Here is a previously unpublished blog post I created a couple of weeks ago:

I know that I will always battle depression.  It has come fewer times and further between, but it is always there under the surface.  I took a couple of days off of work and really just fought it off.  It's been pretty rough.  I haven't been able to turn to my usual comfort--food.  Instead, I've had to just deal with it.  I've been able to not turn to eating as my coping mechanism, which has been great.  It's the small victories, right?  But I've also been really miserable.  I've been doubting myself and getting frustrated with everyone and everything.  And I've been very sad.  I have been on the verge of tears for about three days now.  I haven't cried, and I couldn't even tell you what it's about.  But I just feel vulnerable and tired.  I just want to crawl inside myself and hide for a few days, or weeks, or months.

But I'm slowly pulling myself back out of it.  I am getting back into my routine, and working hard to stay on track with Ideal Protein.  I'm not giving up.

One of my favorite bloggers is Jenny Lawson--The Bloggess.  She is so funny, but she has also been through anxiety and depression.  It helps to know that I'm not alone - that there are others who face depression.  I keep hoping every time things are going well that maybe I will be free of it.  Maybe I will turn around one day and see that years have passed rather than weeks or months.  But at least for now, I feel thankful that it is usually months rather than weeks.  And it isn't like it used to be either - it hits me, but I am still able to function for the most part.  And then it fades.  I know this too shall pass...

I'm feeling much better now.  I feel like myself.  Best yet--the depression didn't cause me to cheat on the diet!  Yay!  So I am still on track.  Depression isn't easy, but I think over time it has become more manageable.

Weigh In #6

I know I'm late posting this.  I actually weighed in on Monday, 10/14.

9/6/2013:  WI 1  -3.4
9/13/2013:  WI 2  -5.8
9/20/2013:  WI 3  -3.4
9/30/2013:  WI 4  -5.0
10/7/2013:  WI 5  -2.0
10/14/2013:  WI 6  -3.0

That brings my total weight loss to 22.6 pounds!

I'm very proud of my loss so far.  I'm almost 1/4 of the way through!  And my DH is right at 1/3 of the way to his goal!  I'm hoping to hit 25 pounds on Monday.  I can do this--I know I can keep moving forward and reach my goal :)